Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Just Breathe

Do you ever have days where you feel completely overwhelmed? Like nothing you do is coming out right; deadlines are piling up; you can't even bother putting on pants or leaving the house to go a block up the street, so you order loaded cheese fries for delivery to cope; and the thought of seeing a real-life person or taking the tiniest effort to socialize makes you want to vomit and cry at the same time?

I took some outfit photos with Jordan earlier today to try to shake myself out of this funk, but I didn't particularly like how they turned out.  It happens sometimes.  I found myself getting frustrated with the photography elements, and I didn't like the way my clothes fit; I felt so awkward in my own skin, and it showed.

2015 is turning out to be one of the most challenging years of my life thus far, which I didn't expect at all. On the contrary, I started my year off with high hopes that this would be the year that my life changed for the better:  I quit my full-time job kind of impulsively because I was absolutely dreading going in to the office every day.  I couldn't find another full-time job in Charleston, so I decided instead to pursue some entrepreneurial endeavors and freelance work.  I also took back my old job to make ends meet in hopes of saving up enough money to move to New York City, which has been a goal of mine since my early twenties. I've updated my resume and LinkedIn profiles, I've done research, I've even been networking inbetween bouts of anxiety; then, disaster.

My long-term boyfriend had an unexpected family crisis, so I put the out-of-state job hunt on hold because I didn't want to leave him during his time of need.  I also went to the doctor today and learned that the Depo (hormone) injections I've been receiving for endometriosis are affecting my body very negatively, and overall I've gained over 40 pounds in the span of less than two years and have developed acne as a result of the testocerone in my body going haywire and the obscene amounts of progesterone in the medication.  (Now, I am a firm believer in body acceptance, but truthfully sometimes it's harder to take that same approach when looking at your own figure, especially when you've had a garbage day; hey, I'm not perfect, I have my bummer days.) Needless to say, it's pretty discouraging to try to take outfit photos when none of your clothes fit.

Do you remember that scene in Ever After where Drew Barrymore's character shows up to the ball wearing a killer ensemble and spots the prince and the upper-class crowd, and she's doing her best not to run into the night screaming and tearing out her hair?  At the top of the staircase, she says to herself "just breathe" and then goes into the fray, almost like giving a (figurative) middle finger to all of the people there as if to say "Yeah, that's right, I belong here. I'm awesome, I look gorgeous.  I GOT THIS. Thanks, boo boo."

Everything might feel like a shitshow right now, but I know it'll pass in time. Sometimes plans change, and I'll have to roll with the punches until I figure out a better solution.  For now, all I can do is just breathe.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

OOTD: Blue Wig & The Blending Trend

First things first, I'd like to wish all of you a Happy New Year! Jordan and I were both exhausted from moving into our new apartment on New Year's Eve, but we managed to make it all the way to the midnight champagne toast at our friends' house party, so I'm pretty proud of us even if we were in bed by 12:15.  It's probably the first year I didn't make a huge deal about getting a new year's dress, and I've gotta say, it was kind of nice not feeling obligated to get all sparkly.  I've already made a list of (feasible) resolutions, because I'm ready to make this the year that all of the cool shit happens in my life.  Earlier this week, I was presented with a pretty neat opportunity by a friend that will help me get some exposure, so I'll definitely elaborate once I learn a little more about it.  I have a good feeling about 2015!

For today's outfit, I wanted to try a take on the blending trend; I decided to pair this light pink H&M billow-sleeved blouse with the pastel pink accordion pleat skirt I got from Urban Outfitters a few years back. The ensemble balances nicely with the blue hair since the colors are on opposite ends of the spectrum, and everything is tied together with my favorite 1960s winter coat.

Anime is  a huge part of my daily life.  As soon as I get home from work, I make myself dinner, throw on lazy clothes and pull up either my Hulu or Netflix queue to resume the latest anime series I've likely become addicted to.  Most recently, I've been really into Ground Control to Psychoelectric Girl.  The protagonist has the cutest blue hair (complete with antennae), and I got the itch to dye; after talking with my stylist, we decided that my curls have been damaged enough from bleaching and not to proceed...for now.  I've wanted to try out wigs for years, but as much as I appreciate cosplay, I had difficulty finding something that was more suited for everyday wear.  I found out about U.K. company Geisha Wigs via Instagram, and this blue gem has become a wardrobe lifesaver on days when my real hair is too crazy to style, not to mention it's great for making new friends (aka getting free drinks) at the bar.

As much as I appreciate the awesomeness this wig has to offer, I wish that companies were more culturally sensitive when branding their products.  Like, what does geisha culture have to do with this wig? Absolutely nothing.  Geisha presents itself as nothing but a buzzword, which I find unsettling.  (I'm using this particular company as an example.  Please don't take this as an instance of me devaluing the shop or the wigmaker herself, as the wig is a high-quality item and I appreciate being able to purchase from a small business. I wish the owner nothing but continued success, but I also want to be honest & bring the issue as well as my feelings to light.)

Overall, we live in a world where we're taught that symbols of status or religion are okay to "borrow" from other cultures, especially when it comes to fashion shows (cough: Victoria's Secret) or music festivals, because white people are apparently devoid of any sort of heritage to lay claim to.  I just want people and especially businesses to be more conscientious about what constitutes cultural appropriation, I don't think that's too much to ask as a consumer.  What are your thoughts on this subject? Am I in the wrong for financially supporting a company that so blatantly advertises under the guise of "geisha"?

Outfit Details:
Light Brown Fur Collar Coat - Vintage (JLinSnider)
Pale Pink Floral Chiffon Blouse - H&M
White Cropped Lace Cami - Forever 21
Pale Pink Pleated Maxi Skirt - Urban Outfitters
Scoundrel Bootie - Seychelles
Starburst Necklace - Vintage (Zola Jewelry)
Blue Wig - Geisha Wigs
Leather Backpack - Thrifted
Octagon Sunnies - ModCloth

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Friday, November 21, 2014

Winter Wishlist 2014

The first thought that probably comes to your mind is "This wishlist is NOT indicative of real winter weather." Yeah, yeah, I know...living in the south, I'm lucky enough to experience relatively mild winters.  The not-so-great aspect is that the weather can be unpredictable (as a matter of fact, this weekend I'll probably be able to go outside in bare legs, ha!), so I always make an effort to dress in layers during the colder months.

This season, I'm really vibing on more muted color palettes which is a little odd for me since I'm a pastel queen at heart.  Getting more textural outerwear in my wardrobe is slowly becoming a necessity for those days when I'm feeling too lazy to get dressed up; I can easily imagine myself grabbing a chai latte on the walk to work in the mornings draped in this kawaii animal-inspired coat from ASOS.

What are you most looking forward to for the winter season?

1. Fair and Bear Sweater (ModCloth)
2. Cool Eye Palette (Bobbi Brown)
3. Kitten Candle (Catbird)
4. Gilted Pleasure Flat (ModCloth)
5. Faux Fur Hooded Coat With Animal Ears (ASOS)
6. Efflorescent Elegance Dress (ModCloth)
7. Belmont Leather Clog (Free People)
8. Nautical Stripe Crew (Hansel from Basel)
9. Tabitha Bag (Orla Kiely)
10. Harlow Blue Checked Cocoon Coat (Dahlia)

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go blow my paycheck.  'Til next time, kittens!